Wednesday, December 19, 2012

The Average Indian Man is Scared

I am the average Indian man. And I am scared.

There has been another brutal rape in Delhi, 2275 kms away from my home, and I am terrified.

I am worried as I type this down, for I am not sure what you will interpret my fear as. One wrong sentence and you are all over me saying how wrong I am to say what I am saying.

Why am I  scared? Cos' everyone simply hates me. The women think that every man out there is responsible for what happened and that men secretly think that whatever bad that happens to women is right and she deserves it. My fellow men think that I could be one of those men who would hurt their women. The public tells me to not blindly follow someone's suggestion, but to take a stand and do "something" to set things right. Social media tells me to stop shedding crocodile tears for I will forget the whole thing sooner than later and go back to living my life. But all that does not give you, man or women, the right to tell me that I shouldn't feel hurt or scared for what is happening around me.

But is this really why I worry? The answer is No!


I am scared for my mother, my sister, my wife, my daughter, my friend - and even for my son! I do not point fingers at the woman who does not dress how the society wants her to - cos' she is my wife and I bought her that dress. I do not stand by the politician who says that women should not go out after 08:00PM - cos' she is my sister and I could not pick her up from work today. I do not think that women should not go to parties - cos' I couldn't say NO to my daughter's cute face as she pleaded for my permission to.

Delhi is filled with 1000s of such cases where "justice" has not been delivered (I am not sure what proper justice would be). "Okay then I would never go to Delhi", I decided. "And I would keep everyone I know out of Delhi". But does that mean that I do not care what happens to my fellow Indians in Delhi? Or does it mean that other places are safe? According to statistics, my beloved Trivandrum (in Kerala) saw 39 such cases in 2011 - and that, of course, is the official stats of reported cases. 39? You think 39, in a small city like Trivandrum, is a small number? You think if the number was just 1 or 2, it would be negligible? Never!

So, did you think that I am going to offer a solution at the end of all this ranting? I am sorry to disappoint you, but I do not have one.

Everyone said "Hang the rapists". And then they said "No, hanging them will not solve the problem."

Then everyone said, "Castrate them". But then they said "Hmm... No, that would not work either."
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"So let us educate them", they said. Then they got confused when so many "educated" men did such crimes.

So finally they said, "Teach them to respect women". But then it turned out that they respect their women, not other women.

"India has developed so much, then why is it happening?" They wondered. India has developed? What? Where? I did not hear about something called moral policing in our cities until about 5 years ago. Nobody needed moral policing until then? So is this development?

I know I am asking a lot of questions. Very easy to sit in front of the PC and point fingers, you say. True. That is the only thing I can do. Just like you, I can merely sit and worry! And pray! And I fear in knowing that writing a post and circulating all over the blogosphere and social media is not going to help solve this by even a mere 1%.

But I still do not have the solution. I do not want to blame the government and the police for what is happening. "I do not have the time to take care of all this, so I vote for the best guy out there and expect him to run my country properly for me", said my friend. I just stood there staring at him not knowing what to say.
And now, just like you, my helplessness turns to anger. But does merely hanging the culprits help? I am not sure. And the fact that it takes too long to be implemented does not help either. We do not want to just fill our jails too. But fear could work wonders. I want the rapists to be as afraid as I am. I want them to be too scared to even imagine committing a crime so heinous. I want them to be as traumatized as their helpless victims are - for the rest of their life. That the mere thought of punishment stops the crime from happening.
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Rape is not the only thing that affects India, someone said. But according to me it ranks right at the top - even above cold-blooded murder. But until someone suggests a way to end all this, all we can do is talk. And like I said before, that is what scares me the most.

I fear, not because I am a coward. I fear because I care. I fear because, like you, I do not know what to do - I am helpless.

I am the average Indian man. And I am scared.

9 comments:

  1. The highly educated Kerala recently reported multiple sexual abuse cases where brothers and fathers were using their sisters/daughters! Sad thing is our country still believe that these guys deserves to live... :(

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    1. Exactly. Just more proof that education has nothing to do with this kinda behavior. It is really sad that we have no solution to this. All we can do is whine and crib and then forget!

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  2. i know it was not the intention, but i actually think 'being scared' is a big part of why this stuff happens, and why nothing gets done about it.

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    1. I agree. But then like I said, what else do you suggest we do? Even if we are bold, we dont know what to do about it, do we?

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  3. I wish to add this article to VOICES FOR DAMINI - A campaign I'm running on my blog. I'll link back to the original article. Let me know if i have your permission.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Subharata. I have been following the Voices for Damini blog and it is a great initiative. I would love it if you add this article also to it. All the best. God bless for what you are doing. You have my permission to do so :)

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  4. Your article has been published. You're now a part of VOICES FOR DAMINI. Kindly mail to subhodasgupta16@gmail.com. I want your mail id. So that we can get it touch in future. Ignore if not interested. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete

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